On Call Room
by Athyna DaughterofPosiedon
Summary: Thirteen and Cameron are forced to share an on-call room. An...interesting conversation ensues.
1. Chapter 1

Thirteen groaned as the door to the on-call room opened. She assumed it was Cuddy, come to drag her back into the epidemic-ridden ER.

"Damn. Sorry, I was hoping this one was empty. All the other ones are full."

The voice definitely belonged to Dr. Cameron, and it didn't seem as though she was trying to send her back to the ER, so she decided it was safe to ask the next question. "So, you aren't here to send me to the ER?"

"No, but if you want to leave…" Cameron trailed off, looking at Thirteen hopefully.

"No way." However, Thirteen wasn't heartless, and when she saw Cameron's resigned look, she sighed. "Here. The bed is big enough for two if you want," she told the blonde woman, scooting over on the bed.

Cameron must have been really tired, Thirteen mused, for the woman immediately hurried over, and crawled into the bed. They were silent for a little while, though neither was asleep. "Hey Thirteen? Are the rumors true?"

"I don't know? Which ones?"

"The ones that say you'd sleep with anyone at the hospital."

Thirteen's eyes widened. "No! God no! For example, there's no way I'd sleep with Wilson, first off. And I wouldn't have sex with Taub! He's got a wife for heaven's sake, though I'm not sure how much longer that'll last. There's also no way I'd sleep with Foreman."

"But haven't you...?"

"Yes. Please don't remind me, and it's not an experience I'd like to repeat."

"What about House and Cuddy?"

"Hmm…I'd sleep with House. As much of an ass as he is, he's pretty sexy."

"Yeah. He is. What about Cuddy?"

"Yeah, definitely. She's hot…for an administrator."

"Mmmm…yeah, she is." Thirteen stared at her, surprised. "So, would you sleep with me?"

"W-What?" Thirteen was definitely **not **expecting that.

"Would you have sex with me? It's really a very simple question."

"Ah, y-yeah. I-I guess."

"Hmmm." She paused for a moment. "I would have sex with you," she stated, as nonchalantly as if she were commenting on weather. With that, she buried her face in Thirteen's neck, and closed her eyes.

Thirteen spent the rest of that night staring down at the wonder that was Allison Cameron; wondering if what she'd said was true.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N So, here's the sequel. (By popular demand, I must proudly brag!) This was co-written by my friend Sophia, and ideas were helpfully supplied by the (amazing) CrazyRikkuFan.**

**Just a note, Cameron is not together with Chase currently. (THANK GOD!)**

Eventually, Thirteen was paged back down to the ER. She was annoyed (she hadn't gotten any sleep, after all), but not very surprised; after all, it **was** an epidemic. She walked into the ER, and was immediately directed to a line of people waiting to be checked out.

After about an hour of sorting the people who actually had typhus, and needed antibiotics, from those who could just go home, Thirteen was finally down to her last few patients. She rolled her eyes as she heard the approaching _thump, thump, thump, _that meant House was coming.

"You slept with Cameron."

Thirteen continued diagnosing, hoping that if she ignored him, he'd go away. However, once finished with her last possible-typhus-patient, he was still there.

"You banged Cameron," he repeated.

"I did?" Thirteen widened her eyes for emphasis. "Gee, you'd think I'd know that before you. I better get my memory checked."

"Don't play dumb. You two totally slept together. You smell like her."

Thirteen kept her face straight, despite the fact that inside she was panicking. "Did it ever occur to you that two women **might just happen** to have the same taste in perfume or shampoo?"

"You didn't smell like her this morning. That only leaves the two of you getting hot n' heavy in an on-call room during your break."

"House. I'm not sleeping with Cameron." With that, Thirteen turned on her heel, and left.

She walked down the hallway, heading back to the on-call room. When she got there, she made it all the way to stripping off her lab coat and sitting on the bed, before noticing that there was some one else in the bed. "Hey again," Cameron said, looking up at her.

"Hey," Thirteen replied, rubbing at a tired eye. "Mind if I…" she trailed off, gesturing to the bed.

"No problem," Cameron told her, sliding towards the wall.

"Have you been here this entire time?" Thirteen asked, lying down.

Cameron smiled, guiltily, and nodded her head. Thirteen stared at her incredulously. "You got lucky, I've been out there for at least an hour," Thirteen told her, staring at her lips, when they quirked upwards in a little smirk. _Damn, how does Cameron not know how sexy she looks, with her hair all over the place and that mischievous little smirk, _Thirteen marveled.

"Need a little pick-me-up?" Cameron asked, quirking an eyebrow. She laughed when Thirteen's jaw dropped.

"Are you serious? And what kind of pick-me-up are you referring to?" Thirteen asked. "There are a lot of different kinds. There's: let's-go-to-a-bar, or let's-take-a-joyride-on-House's-motorcycle. Then there's coffee…or there's _coffee_." Cameron smirked a little at Thirteen's implication.

"Or there's this." And with that, Cameron sat up, straddled Thirteen, and pressed her lips against the younger woman's. Thirteen' mind shut down, but her body responded on its own, her hands grasping Cameron's face, the tips of her fingers tangling in her blonde hair. Cameron, in turn, deepened the kiss and moaned softly. She lowered herself down, so she was practically lying on top of the younger woman, her upper body propped up on her elbows. Thirteen rolled them over, her mind finally catching up with the situation. Slowly, she pulled the older doctor's scrub top over her head, discarding her own clothes before—


	3. CRACKFIC CHAPTER!

**A/N Note that this is not an actual chapter. Sophia and I haven't been able to get together to write the real next chapter, so I'm giving you this crackficy one to tide you over. It's dedicated to:**** house, Swampje, both of whom provided inspiration for this crackfic chapter, and ilive4jeanz, who helped in the decision of whether or not to post it**.

Thirteen rolled off of Cameron and sat up, pulling the thin hospital sheet with her, as the door to the on-call room opened. House limped through the door, trailing a rope in his hand, but stopped when he saw Thirteen staring at him. He tilted his head to the side, momentarily confused as to why Thirteen was lying naked in an on-call room bed, until he noticed Cameron beside her, in a similar state of undress. "Please, don't stop your lesbian action on my account. I just need somewhere to put Mr. Princess-Scrublet-Boy."

Cameron flushed red, and Thirteen cocked her head to the side. "Mr. Princess-Scrublet-Boy?" she asked.

House nodded enthusiastically, walking fully into the room. Following a foot or two behind him was a Labrador-Retriever-sized pink elephant. "House, why do you have a pink elephant?" Cameron snapped, sitting up next to Thirteen, making sure to clutch the sheet to her chest.

"Because," he replied, "the store was all out of blue elephants. Duh."

"House, can't you find somewhere else to put your elephant? Cameron and I were just about to have sex."

"No, I can't. Plus, as I pointed out earlier, there's no reason for you to stop on _my_ account."

Cameron glared at him, but Thirteen merely shrugged, turning back to the blond and pulling her down onto the bed. "You're not actually gonna—" Cameron's protests were cut off by Thirteen's lips moving quickly against her own. Cameron reciprocated with a moan, letting Thirteen move back on top of her, and completely forgetting about House. House, on the other hand, stood there in shock, mouth agape. That is, until he was nudged from behind by Mr. Princess-Scrublet-Boy. He stumbled forward a bit, then righted himself, and turned to scold the elephant. However, when he turned, he noticed that Mr. Princess-Scrublet-Boy was doing, and couldn't help but put a hand over his heart in pride. The elephant was slinking towards the bed, trunk extended. He was just about to grip the sheet, and hopefully pull it off, when Foreman burst into the room screaming. "CUDDY TURNED INTO A ZOMBIE AND IS EATING PEOPLE'S BRAINS!" Thirteen and Cameron shot into a sitting position, mouths open in shock. House turned to him, and remarked, "You better run then." At Foreman's confused look, he elaborated. "Zombie's eat people's brains in order of dumbest to smartest, since dumb people's brains taste worse. You're the dumbest one of all of us, and Cuddy is coming this way."

Foreman whirled around, saw Cuddy, and started to run. House turned back to Thirteen and Cameron, about to make a smart remark, saw the two of them sitting there, and became immediately distracted. All he could do was stand and stare. In their haste to become more aware of the situation, they had forgotten to pull the sheet up with them, and it had pooled at their waists. When they realized this, they grabbed the sheet, and pulled it back up. House was snapped out of his daze. "Cameron, I whole heartedly apologize for every remark I've ever made denouncing your breast size." Cameron flushed once again at House's comment, and Thirteen smirked. "Thirteen, if you're ever up for sharing…" he trailed off at the offended and disgusted glare he received.

"Out." Thirteen commanded. House obeyed, leading Mr. Princess-Scrublet-Boy behind him.

"Shall we continue our passionate lovemaking?" Thirteen asked, turning to Cameron. Cameron's only response was to pounce on the brunette, pushing her onto the bed, and attaching her lips to the younger woman's neck."

**A/N The elephant was named after one of my guy friend's nicknames…we have a very love-hate relationship. :)**

**I blame Sophia for Thirteen's last line, as today, when we were talking about fluff vs. romance; she remarked, "romance is more for passionate lovemaking." It was very funny, I must say. **


End file.
